You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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