All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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