My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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