The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
