ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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