haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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