if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
