And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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