Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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