her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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