I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
