I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
MIDGETS
????
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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