I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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