Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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