I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
