Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
