Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
