i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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