Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
