so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex on a dog bed..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
