i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize