I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
