I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
