____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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