..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
