You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize