Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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