make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sorry about my life...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
