I wish life had little blips of pornography
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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