you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
