shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
