I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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