Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
