I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
