I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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