he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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