I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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