He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
