The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
