ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize