I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
