Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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