Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I smell stomach acid.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Terrible idea I love it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
