I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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