return my video game
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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