the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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