I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
