hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
