I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
