The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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