I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
