I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
