I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
