Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
