And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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