I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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