Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's shark week go big or go home
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
