is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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