I'm really into asian looking animals
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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