My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
