When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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