i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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